So don't blow it

I think that's a good chance for you. Don't mess it up." He was quiet for a few seconds, then said: "I don't know, Kath. There are all these other things to think about." "Tommy, just listen. You're really lucky. Of all the people here, you've got Ruth fancying you. After we leave, if you're with her, you won't have to worry. She's the best, you'll be fine so long as you're with her. She's saying she wants a fresh start. So don't blow it." I waited but Tommy gave no response, and again I felt something like panic coming over me. I leaned forward and said: "Look, you fool, you're not going to get many more chances. Don't you realise, we won't be here together like this much longer?" To my surprise Tommy's response, when it came, was calm and considered--the side of Tommy that was to emerge more and more in the years ahead. "I do realise that, Kath. That's exactly why I can't rush back into it with Ruth. We've got to think about the next move really carefully." Then he sighed and looked right at me. "Like you say, Kath. We're going to be leaving here soon. It's not like a game any more. We've got to think carefully." I was suddenly lost for what to say and just sat there tugging away at the clovers. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't look up. We might have gone on that way for a while longer, except we were interrupted. I think the boys he'd been playing football with earlier came back, or maybe it was some students strolling by who came and sat down with us. Anyway, our little heart-to-heart was at an end and I came away feeling I hadn't done what I'd set out to do--that I'd somehow let Ruth down. f I NEVER GOT TO ASSESS WHAT KIND of impact my talk with Tommy had had, because it was the very next day the news broke. It was midway through the morning and we'd been in yet another Culture Briefing. These were classes where we had to role play various people we'd find out there--waiters in caf閟, policemen and so on. The sessions always got us excited and worried all at the same time, so we were pretty keyed up anyway. Then at the end of the lesson, as we were filing out, Charlotte F. came rushing into the room and the news about Miss Lucy leaving Hailsham spread through us in an instant. Mr. Chris, who'd been taking the class and who must have known all along, shuffled off guiltily before we could ask him anything.